Csquared Thoughts

no sympathy

You know I'm not exactly delighted with my job these days, grateful as I am to be employed.

I was talking to my manager about getting a project manager certification called PMP, just as a sort of insurance. I told her that would be great to have on my resume in case this job ever sent me over the edge. Her response, "Let me tell you about over the edge..." and she then proceeded to tell me about an experience with respect to what she was doing.

Last week, in the middle of a day of particularly aggravating conference calls, I told Terry, "I want a different job." Terry's response: "I want a job that pays more."

No sympathy.

practice

I was talking to my spiritual director about the level of stress and aggravation at work. After our session she emailed me her sermon from a couple of Sundays earlier. Right in the middle of the sermon was exactly what it was I needed.

How do we remember that God is with us when things get rough? How do we hold onto courage to keep seeking the treasure when we can only see the rocks in the field? The answer is simple. We practice. In the small changes of life, we practice looking for God’s presence.

Thank you, Linda!

and now for something completely different

I had been composing in my mind a blog entry on work ennui, but hadn't yet put fingers to keyboard.

Then last Wednesday I had a call with my manager and her manager. They told me that there was a big reorganization happening and I was being given a new job. The work will be very different from what I've been doing the past almost ten years and will involve program management, which I enjoy. Then, on Friday my manager told our team that those of us affected would actually be part of an entirely new organization. Wow!

I found out on Monday that my old manager, whom I lost in January, will be my new manager, at least for now. That is good news.

The thought crossed my mind last week that those of us moving to the new organization were being caught up in the rapture while those staying in the old organization were those left behind. But then, it could be exactly the other way around and those in the old organization are the ones caught up in the rapture. Besides, premillennial dispensationalism is bad theology. It only really came into existence in the nineteenth century. There is no real Biblical basis for it, and no basis in the beliefs and practices of the early church. So enough of that.

In any case, this will be something new and different. I'm looking forward to it. So much for work ennui, at least for now.

lunch

The last couple of times I've had lunch at La Hacienda I have seen two different pair of women lingering over lunch long after they had finished eating and the check had been delivered.

Makes me think of my days at work when I actually worked with people on the same site and we would have lunch together. Normally we would eat in the cafeteria, but sometimes we would treat ourselves and go offsite.

Yes, we spent most of our time at lunch playing Ain't it Awful. But it was a form of bonding, and an acknowledgement that none of us, individually, was losing it, that (in our minds) the system and management priorities really were messed up.

There's a lot to be said for working from home and avoiding the commute. But the flip side of that is the isolation, and not being able to interact in person.

It's a different world.

ch-ch-changes

I got back to work after our holiday shutdown to learn of the death of Betty, our beloved cashier-and-more in the cafeteria. I think of the lyrics of the Jackson Brown song, "For a Dancer:" "I thought you'd always be around."

Right after that I learned that my manager's boss was leaving the company. A week later I learned what that meant to me. Her transition plan, which her manager accepted, had my manager moving to manage the other part of her organization, and a direct report individual contributor of hers managing my manager's team. (Follow that? There will be a quiz.)

I hate losing Kristy as a manager, though I think Lorre will be OK. But Kristy was the one last person I worked with in our local office. Lorre is in Houston. So I'm not working for Kristy and Betty is not in the cafeteria. There's really no reason to go into the office at all, except on the days I meet with my spiritual director. The one-hour (plus or minus - mostly plus) commute is pretty much pointless, given the time zones of the people I work with, and the fact that I can be up and running and online shortly after 7:00 a.m. when I work from home.

I'm still trying to wrap my mind around what that change will look like.

remembering Betty

Betty was a cashier in our cafeteria at work. Well, she was more that just a cashier – she did an awful lot around there, but when the cafeteria was open she was always at her station behind one of the cash registers.

She had a big heart and called people "honeybunch" or "dear" as they went through her line. She was, I believe, Armenian, and spoke with an accent. She was always positive and upbeat, except in those rare times when she was unhappy or depressed. In any case, she never hid how she felt.

She had some sort of surgery a few years ago that required that she sit at her station upon her return. The food service vendor accommodated her and provided her with a stool to sit on. They had to. She was out for a long while and she reports her boss telling her she had to come back to work. "Everyone is asking, 'Where's Betty? When is she coming back?'"

My manager recalls being at our site, moving to another site for five years, and then coming back. She says Betty acted like she'd only been away for a day.

I don't go into the office much more than once a week anymore, but when I did go in to the cafeteria to get my chocolate doughnut in the morning Betty always greeted me as if I were still coming in every day. If my chocolate doughnut was there she'd say, "You found your doughnut!" If the chocolate doughnuts were gone she'd say something like, "So sorry. Someone came in early and bought most of the doughnuts for a meeting."

In December I noticed that Betty wasn't there when I went to get my doughnut. We came back from our holiday break and my manager told me that Betty had died during our time away of stomach cancer, which had only recently been diagnosed.

Our cafeteria will never be the same. But Betty is no doubt up there at some celestial cafeteria, greeting the cosmic patrons with the same enthusiasm and joy with which she greeted us for so many years.

We love you and miss you, Betty.

workplace realities

I received an email on Thursday from a colleague on the East Coast who had just been put into the Workforce Reduction program, which we fondly refer to as WFR. What this means is that she has four weeks to find a job inside the company, and if she doesn't she's unemployed.

This particular person was a great resource for our team and a key player in her product area. I always felt that she was real contributor and played a vital role in her group. It reinforced to me what I've observed in the past: that the criteria for selecting people for WFR can be dubious at best. Sometimes, as I see it, those criteria are outright incomprehensible.

Our CEO has been shown the door, but the beat that he established goes on.

Depressing.

bummer

Today was the last day at work before the Christmas shutdown. Normally we have a holiday brunch with scrambled eggs, bacon, sausage, hash browns, orange juice, and all that. It was always a nice marker of our last day before we returned to work in January.

This year, no brunch. The food service was willing but the company said no.

Bummer.

"ain't it awful"

I find myself using that phrase with some regularity, both in my own mind and in conversation.

Sample usage: "Before all the reorganizations and workforce reductions, the four of us used to have lunch together in the cafeteria and play ain't it awful."

I guess that dates me. You have to be a certain age to get the context of that phrase. And who has even mentioned Transactional Analysis since the 1970's?

sigh

perspective

I have a friend who is a an expatriate CPA living in China. He specializes in ex-pat tax returns and also writes and lectures on issues of economics and tax. The former he hates, but it pays the bills. The latter he loves, but it brings in little money. I have to say that I respect his ability to balance the two, support his wife and daughter, and make time for things he enjoys.

I try not to grouse too much about work here. My inability to accomplish the kinds of things I would like is frustrating. But it's the reality given the economic environment and the very deliberately designed IT infrastructure at my company. I don't feel justified in complaining much, though. First of all, I'm employed. That's a big one right there these days. I have a good manager. I work from home most of the time.

Outside of work, I have plenty of leisure time. I spend time in the kitchen cooking, I share this blog with you, I've got lots to read, and oh, yes, I've become a Facebook addict. And with all that, I get in my treadmill time, thanks to the DVD player.

So if I keep my work in perspective, I really have created a balance every bit as much as my expatriate friend.