Csquared Thoughts

another reason I'm an Episcopalian

from the Rev. Br. Tobias Haller via Susan Russell

"There was a wonderful series of interviews with church leaders a few years back after a swath of hurricanes went through Honduras. All were asked 'Why these terrible storms?' The local evangelical church leader said, 'God is punishing the people for their waywardness.' The Italian incumbent noted, 'God is testing His people.' The Episcopal Bishop (Leo Frade, now in Florida) said, 'It's hurricane season.'"

a small tear

The bishop is making her visitation to St. John the Divine in October, so I've been in touch with Fr. Phil about joining. He sent a request to Pastor Koch for a letter of transfer from Good Shepherd. Pastor Koch provided that by email. When Phil let me know that he had received that I had just a touch of sadness.

I know I am in the right place. I am where I need and want to be. But I was at Good Shepherd for over ten years and came to really like many of the people there.

I had to take a moment to shed a small tear. And then move ahead.

the Church is in the business of redefinition

This was written in the wake of the legalization of same-sex marriage in New York, but I think that Rev. Hopkins' words fit into the much larger context of social justice in general. This, to me, is the church at its best.

The church's job, in "the grace of our Lord Jesus Christ, the love of God, and the communion of the Holy Spirit," is constantly to be the agent of the new thing the prophets taught us God is always doing. That means "redefinition" is in our portfolio. It's the business we are in. [....] I am reminded of something the then Lutheran Bishop of the Washington Metro Area said to our Diocesan Convention in Washington many years ago. "Progressives in the Church need to remember that God never changes; traditionalists need to remember that God is always doing a new thing." I think this paradox is true today. In terms of marriage, it has, in fact, not changed, and we have, in fact, done a new thing. —The Very Rev Michael W Hopkins, courtesy of Susan Russell

when reality peers over the wall

I've enjoyed my time so far at St. John the Divine. Part of that enjoyment comes from simply attending Sunday service without being privy to the inner workings of the church. I had chosen to assume that the church was on solid financial footing because they had a preschool to help support the infrastructure. Now, given the years I spent on the church council at Good Shepherd, I knew perfectly well that that was not a rational assumption.

So I was not surprised when the vestry member representing stewardship announced a few weeks ago that the church needed people to step up to help meet the summer shortfall. Then, in last week's church newsletter, Fr. Phil wrote, "Thank you to those who have been responding to our summer financial slump. We still have a substantial way to go to meet our summer obligation."

Then, just to ensure that I be reassured that St. John the Divine was a real church with real people and real issues faced by every church, he wrote about how he felt a sense of "false guilt" about the money spent on his tenth anniversary celebration this past spring, about "a sense of extravagance in a year when things would be tight plus with the insistence that I take time off, it would require supply clergy expense as well."

So there is an opportunity to read between the lines! The use of the noun rather than the verb form of "insist," allowing him to avoid stating who was doing the insisting. I can only assume that would be the vestry. That's interesting to me, because in the eight years I was on the church council at Good Shepherd (five of them as president, so I bear more than my share of responsibility), the council never insisted that Pastor Koch do anything. I think Good Shepherd might be a healthier church today if it (if we!) had. And I think that that is probably a testament to the health of St. John's, or at least an indicator that the vestry is taking an active role in the management of the church, which, except in extreme and occasional dysfunctional cases, is almost always a good thing.

So reality at St. John the Divine has peered its head over the wall at me. I knew that day would come eventually. And that's OK. I'm still happy to be there.

evolving

In the context of Sunday's gospel about the man born blind, Fr. Phil made the point that institutions and individuals must often change their practices as circumstances change and evolve. He pointed out that St. John the Divine has made changes to its ministry in the ten years he has been there as the needs of the community have changed. He said the same is true for individuals. He said that it's not what we've done in the past is bad or wrong, but that we move forward and evolve.

I appreciated that. It reaffirmed to me that I had done the right thing in returning to the Episcopal Church last August. And it reminded me not to second guess the decisions I've made in the past. That's a good thing.

moving on

I realized the other day that I didn't get the March email newsletter from Good Shepherd. I'd been thinking for several months about having my name dropped my name from the list, but I didn't want to hurt feelings any more than they were hurt already. And I was interested reading about the progress in the move from the Missouri Synod to the ELCA.

But, really, I've moved on, and as one who has always identified as Episcopalian, I am delighted to be back in an Episcopal parish. I wish Good Shepherd all the best, and now it is time for me give my full attention to where I am, and not on where I've been.

the bishop and I

There has been much electronic ink spilt this week about the death of Harvard professor and chaplain Peter Gomes, as well there should be. He was a prominent voice in progressive Christianity and a force for social change. But on the same day we lost Peter we lost another, lesser-known cleric who nonetheless had a greater influence in my life than did Gomes.

The Rt. Rev. Richard Shimpfky left this world at 6:00 a,m. on Monday 28 February. I knew he had been ill. I didn't know that the illness was life-threatening.

I have fond recollections of Bishop Shimpfky. I encountered him four different times in four different churches in the Diocese of El Camino Real.

The first time I met him was at St. Timothy's in Mountain View. I had become disillusioned with Religious Science and was just beginning to explore the Episcopal Church. The first church I visited was St. Timothy's because it was within walking distance of our home in Mountain View. It just happened to be his visitation Sunday there. He was very gracious and said, "I'm a visitor here too."

My second encounter with him was when I joined All Saints' in Palo Alto and he confirmed me into membership in the Episcopal Church. It is a day that I won't forget.

I next met him after Terry and I had moved to Gilroy in 1997. I realized that I could not continue to commute to All Saints' on Sundays and was exploring local churches. I visited St. John the Divine in Morgan Hill at a time when they were without a rector, and on a day when the bishop just happened to be visiting informally. He said he was just there "helping out."

The last time I saw him was at his vsitation to St. Stephen's In-the-Field San Jose, where I was a member and shortly before I ran screaming from there (a subject for a different day and time).

I know his departure from the diocese, while I was away in the Lutheran church, was not under the most pleasant of circumstances, to state matters mildly. Yet I always liked and appreciated him, and do not have a negative word to say.

I can only wish that he rest in peace and rise in glory.

doctrine

Interesting note on church history from Diana Butler Bass:

Did you know the word "doctrine" did not show up in English until the 14th century? "Doctrine" displaced an older English word (related to the German), "leren" that simply mean "teach, instruct, or guide."

breaking up is hard to do

I hung on at Good Shepherd longer than I really wanted to. But I thought that I owed the church staying there through the behavioral covenant process. My desire to move on had little to do with the issues Good Shepherd was facing, and was almost exclusively related to my desire to be back in the Episcopal church.

After being at St. John the Divine for a few weeks, I knew that was where I wanted to be. So I sent an email to the Good Shepherd treasurer, whom I considered a friend, and copied Pastor Koch, asking that my electronic debit be discontinued. I worded the email in as affable and friendly manner as I could.

No response from Pastor Koch and the treasurer responded with a four-word email, "Closed as of 10/04/10."

That hurt a bit. Yes, I have left Good Shepherd. But I was clear and honest about why I left. My decision was a surprise to no one who knew my thinking. I would have hoped, under the circumstances, that I could have maintained a personal relationship with the people there that I liked.

I know, though, that I'm where I need to be. As I said in a Facebook status a few weeks back, I noticed myself thinking on a Saturday evening, "I get to go to church tomorrow," and not "I have to go to church tomorrow."

That tells me what I need to know.

Good Shepherd: the beat goes on

Sunday we were supposed to have had the second of two workshops at Good Shepherd where we would agree upon our behavioral covenant. We only had half the number of people that we had at the first workshop. Many of the "disaffected" who would need to agree to the covenant for it to work at all were not there.

Rescheduled for 22 August.

This process just keeps dragging on. And on. And on.

Yes, I know this sort of thing takes time. Still.